As far as chocolate goes… how much chocolate do you and your wife eat? I mean, seriously, even if you bought a 10 pound bar from Herseyland every other week, you’d only have enough foil to wrap one pastrami on rye. Do your kids help you consume the chocolate? You probably spend more on chocolate than you would if you went to BJs and bought 10,000 feet of aluminum.

My parents all but forced me to constantly watch that episode of Rocko’s Modern Life where O-Town breaks out into a song and dance about caring for Earth. R-E-C-Y-C-L-E, recycle! C-O-N-S-E-R-V-E conserve! Don’t you P-O-L-L-U-T-E pollute the rivers, sky, or seas, or else you’re going to get what you deserve. I may not have known it then, but they set me on the eco-friendly path that continues to this day.

Oh, ho, you say you want examples? You sound like my daughter, Shvelta, who asks me, “Dad, how can one day’s supply of oil last for eight? Give me an example of when this has happened since.” Without hesitation, I say, “Shvelta, when was the last time we bought olive oil?” She’ll think for a minute and say, “2002?”

That’s right! We have not purchased olive oil since the year 5763 (or 2002 to those dabbling in the Gregorian arts). “But Shlomo, how does this work?”

Ah! My friends, it is the beauty of the recycling. See, every time the bottle is half-empty (this is how I see it, my brother, Morty, likes to see things half-full, but he’s a mensch) I refill it with water. The water and the oil separate until mixed and the dishes my wife cooks are just as flavorful as she is.

How else do we Horowitzes recycle? We save the aluminum foil from old pieces of chocolate and use them, once we’ve gotten enough, to wrap sandwiches in. And a bonus! The lunch food smells like Heaven. Yahweh himself would be proud.

I have other tips, but I don’t want to share them unsolicited. But please, feel free to ask me. Ye shall receive!

Shalom!